Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Well, I hope everyone had a great CHRISTMAS and that everything worked out the best for you all. I am going to go ahead and wish you all a very "HAPPY" new year and hope all goes well with you for 2009. I hope it will be a lot better than 2008 was for us all.
Everyone has been having a lot of downs and maybe with the "NEW" president and the "NEW" year coming in everything will be for the "BEST" and everything will turn around but than again we don't know until it happens do we.
Would love to hear about some of your holiday stories. I will have to see if I can find the time to go through and read everyone's journals, but until I can get the house situation straight I don't have time for anything right now. I don't know what we are going to do. I am working with some ladies and hopefully something will come up and figure its way out for us all. Please keep us all in your prayers and I always do for you each and everyone of you in mine.
Well it is OFFICAL my grandmother's Divorce was finalized before Christmas and she has left yet again to go to Florida. It was finalized the Saturday before Christmas. I felt so sorry for my stepfather and his stepfather. He come over at Christmas time (Step-Grandfather) and he was so sad and he signed his Christmas card to my stepfather from your Ex-Dad. Which really upset my stepfather. So, things were really depressing during the holidays. Than the day after Christmas we had to say "GOODBYE" yet again to my Grandmom (well actually she is not my grandmom but I call her my grandmom, she is only my grandmom from my stepfather). She left to go to Florida like I said and she is going to be remarrying within the next month or so. I don't know when yet but I am sure I will find out and when I do I will let you all know.
We had seen her the day before Christmas Eve and that was really hard because I got really upset and than I had to see her again the day after Christmas and that was really hard and I just had to put a hard front up because if I get myself too upset I will make myself sick due to my illness and all I have been doing is crying and crying since I have had to see her. I only seen her to be here for my stepfather and if it was not for him I would have not seen her because I just get so upset over this whole thing because it is not right and it is disguising to me and I think she has done wrong. I love her like she is my very own grandmother by blood but we are not but it still hurts. I am a very emotional type of person and I get attached to people really easily which is really hard on me. LOL!
The last time I had wrote my stepmom's nephew was shot well he signed himself out of the hospital and all and we think that was because we think it was something to do with drugs and all but can't prove it. But he is doing better I guess because no one has called her to let my stepmom know how he is doing so we don't know.
My stepmom is doing good and she had a really great Christmas and that was thanks to us all here who chipped in on a cheap laptop computer because she has brain tumor and don't know how long she will be with us and that is the ONLY thing she had wanted and NO ONE would get it for her. So, we all chipped in on it and got it for her and boy was she so SURPRISED. That really made my day to be able to get that for her and surprise her for once. LOL!
Well, I guess that is all for now and I will try to come back later or tomorrow okay. I have a lot of emails and other stuff to do. Also, New Year's Eve is my mom and stepfather's Anniversary they will be together 18 yrs too. So, I don't know if I will be online until after the first of the new year okay. Hubby has to work tomorrow night and I don't know if he will be home in time to be here at midnight. We didn't spend last year together either but we have been together yet another year and that makes 18 yrs for us too as of Dec. 16th. SO, who know what this year will bring.
Well, I wish the best for you and your family as always and please take care and remember to live today at your fullest because you never know what tomorrow may bring. Also, always remember to tell that special someone in your life how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. Always tell them that you love them and that you mean it. Don't be mad at anyone because being mad is wrong and God will make things right and madness is not good. God bless you all and may you all have a blessed new year. Many hugs and lots of love always, KAT :OD
Monday, December 8, 2008
Well, today is just another bad day in my neighborhood.
First off my stepmother's nephew was shot 2 times in the chest and had to be air lifted to shock trauma unit at a very well known hospital. They don't know what is going on yet and if he is going to make it or not. The police and FBI are still investigating this due to he was left to die after being shot. So, please say some prayers for him and their family. The nephew's father is also dying from cancer and he could die any day now and this is all he needs. So, the family is up to the hospital by the boys side to find out what is going on. As soon as I know anything I will report it here okay.
Than we got bad news about our home too. They maybe wanting to foreclose on it because my stepfather and mom both got behind due to him losing his job and my mom is disabled like myself. Most of you know that we all live together. I am on disability and my hubby works. So, we all don't get that much due to the fact that we are not married legally and they would calculate the incomes together. So, when my stepfather lost his job and now he is unable to work due to him falling and hurting himself and getting sick with the Narcolepsy and Sleep Apnea we have fallen behind on the mortgage.
We don't know what to do or how to stop what is going to happen. If anyone knows of anything please let us know. Me and Rob would love to buy the house from my stepfather and take over the payments that are lower in rate if we can. That would be so much better than having to try to come up with the high payment my stepfather has now. So, if you all can help out that would be greatly appreciated. As must of you know I am handicapped and more less homebound and have NO means of getting out if we have to move.
I am just so upset and all this happening here at the holidays. That is why I have not been online much because I am not trying to use my online service that much because I am going to have to try to either discontinue it or I am going to have to cut it down or something because I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like each day in my life it is getting worse and worse and I am getting deeper and deeper into a rut and I can't get out of it. I feel like I am such a USELESS person and can't do anything right anymore. I have a college degree and not able to get or be able to work because of being on oxygen 24 hours a day and in a wheelchair and in so much pain. But I know that there are so many more people out there that are worse off than I am and that is what gets me up everyday.
I am really lose for words and don't know what to say anymore because of this depression that is setting in on me and how I need to get out of this and what I can do to make everything better for me and my family and my health. I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help us all out if you can or know how. Thanks a million and god bless everyone!!! Love you all!! Hugs, KAT :*o(
Friday, December 5, 2008
First my stepfather was rushed to the hospital on 11/18 and than me and rob have been so sick with bronchitis and pneumonia. My mom got a big scare from the doctor's. She has to go and have her breast fully diagnosed at the hospital but because she is on Medicaid she has to wait for the six month's to be up before they can do it again. She may have breast cancer but they can't rule it out until they do these other tests. Which really makes me so upset and mad. She can't have this done until March 2009 that will be the six months.
What else has been going on .. Oh well lets see my doggie has been sick and we had to take her to the vet. That was bad too and it cost us an arm and leg. Oh there just has been so much. Maybe I will be able to go on and on.
Oh yeah my grandmom finally got the divorce from my grandfather after 25 yrs together. She is still up here in Delaware. She come back around Oct. 4, 2008 and has been here since than but that was just to get the divorce finalized. She is leaving again on or right after Christmas if the divorce degree comes in or not. She is engaged to be remarried. Long story I know and it is not right I know but this is what she wants and no one is going to stop her. She is not my real grandmom but she is my stepfather's mom. I have always thought about her as my grandmom though.
Well, what else has been going on that I can write about? Well, if I think about it I will redo this okay. Take care and talk to you all soon. Thanks for everyone that has been really worried about me and I am totally sorry about all this. Take care and love you all. God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
These where done by me on my very depressed day! What do you all think? If you want them tagged you can click the link with them. Thanks again for everything!! Enjoy!!! Hugs, KAT :OD
I guess I am depressed alot because I am homebounded and in so much pain. But there is nothing really anyone can do for the pain but me to get the weight off and without being able to move around that is not going to happen. I don't eat much as it is and I don't drink anything but WATER and that is it. So, I guess it is just that I don't eat but maybe 1 or 2 meals a day and than I don't exercise but that is because of the pain. But life goes on and we still have to live even if it is from the pain or the weight. There is no need to cry over it but I do get in my moods that I get really depressed and I don't want to be around anyone. But yesterday I wanted to be around my hubby but I couldn't because he was busy working on a car and than he had to go and get supplies for that car. When I was able to go before I would go with him when he got supplies but now that I can't go out now I didn't get to go with him. So, I have been really lonely alot lately. Don't get me wrong I have my mom and stepfather and uncle that live with us but it is not being able to go out and be around other people and especially being around my hubby. It seems like he is always working. He is at work tonight on his day off. We didn't get to spend another week together and this is going on 2 months now. So, that is another reason I am really depressed. It seems like we never see each other but when we got bed and that is no more than 1 hour at the most.
So, I guess it is just me talking a bunch of stuff because most of the time I know it is just me. Or that is what I am told all the time.
I just needed to put this out and all just need to vent. Well, I guess I will for now and go and upload the tags I did yesterday. It took me a few hours just to get 2 tags done and usually it don't take me 15 mins to do a tag. LOL! So, I guess I was really down yesterday. I had a really bad panic attack too yesterday. I couldn't stop crying yesterday and my pain levels were really high like today. But I know why cry over it and all because there isn't anything anyone can do.
Well, I guess I will let you all go and take care and talk to you soon. God bless everyone!! Many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Well, today has been a very weird day today. There has been so much SADNESS going on in the world and in my life. I can't believe how much has been going on in this life. What is the world coming too I ask everyday.
I was watching Oprah today and seen the most saddest thing I have ever seen. It was called 99 Balloons. You can watch it here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0 and it is so sad and you will need a lot of tissues for watching this 6 minute video.
Today on Oprah was about young kids who inspire. It was so sad and even Oprah and Celine were in tears over this video too. It is so amazing how much little children go through and they suffer so much before they are even an adult. This just makes my life feel so not important and makes me feel like a fool because they go through so much and yet they can't say how much pain they have to go through. It makes my pain feel so little.
I still can't believe what happen to Jennifer Hudson's Nephew Julian King. That is totally saddens me so much and just to think about so many other little children who get killed over evil adults that they feel they need to take a life. It is horrible and I just can't understand why so many have to die so young. If it is not one it is 100 and this will keep going on and on in our lives because we can't do anything to prevent it from happening.
Well, I guess this is all for me now I will be back in a few to update on my Stepmom she has something that come up last night and had to go to the doctor today. Well, take care and talk to you soon. God bless and many hugs, support, prayers and lots of love, KAT :OD
Monday, October 27, 2008
I was watching the News tonight and it is really sad about Jennifer Hudson's 7 yr old Nephew Julian. What gets into people's heads to make them go on a killing spree?? Like a little 7 yr old kid can do anything to an ADULT it just makes me so mad and it really upsets me so much that this can happen to a young person like this. Is anyone keeping up with this story? I was wondering why Jennifer's mom and brother were shot? What was it over? I heard it was to do with domestic abuse or something. Is this true? I know Jennifer Hudson has to be really upset over this especially when her career is just getting to take off the ground. Do you all know if she was very close to her mom and brother? I know so many questions. LOL!
Sometimes I don't know what makes someone want to kill. How do they actually shoot or stab someone. You really have to be down and out to really do this to another living thing. I hate to even kill a fly or a bug. It is just not right and I don't understand what brings a person to this. Just like so many people have said to me because of me being ill and all. They don't know how they would live with what I have for as long as I have done it because they would have killed themselves by now. I always answer to them with this...
"Why kill yourself? What is that going to solve? You will leave your loved ones and than you will not be able to go to heaven by doing this. Do you think by killing yourself that it is going to make things right or better? No because it is not."
It really upsets me that people would think because of the pain I am in that they would need to kill themselves because they could not put up with the pain and infections and stuff I have been through. But why do that because there are so many other people in this world that are more WORSE than I am and do you see them killing themselves? NO I answer!! So, why would you want to do it. They must have really low self esteem or low pain tolerance or something. It doesn't make any sense to me. Does it to you all?
Again I am sorry for not getting online sooner and doing this but I just have not had the strength to do anything lately. Maybe because I have been depressed too. There are so many things going on in my life right now. Money is the biggest thing of all evil here. There is not enough coming in and too much going out. With the economy the way it is now days I just don't know how anyone is making it. It is not right and maybe sometime soon the world and all of us can come together and get this straightened out. I am praying and hoping for that.
Well, I guess I will go for now and all hubby is just getting home and he is hungry. LOL! Well, you all have a great and blessed day and I will talk to you again tomorrow I am hoping. Hubby is home tomorrow but he has to work on his side job for Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. I don't know if I will get any alone time with him again this week. Very sad over that because we have not had alone time together except for when we go to bed and that is no longer than an hour a day in over a month or better. Really getting lonely here.
Well, you all be good and don't get into any trouble now. Be nice and make sure you always tell your loved ones that you really love with all your heart and soul and give them all big hugs and kisses from you and from me. God bless you always and forever!! With all my love, support, prayers and hugs to your family from mine, KAT :OD
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Well, what to talk about today? I don't have much to say because of the pain I am in but I do have to tell you about my stepmother. My real dad was here today to visit me and all. He was telling me she was home resting but she is in a lot of pain now because of not having any pain pills. So, he stayed here for about 2 hours today to let her rest and get some sleep she really needs because she has been hovering over him like nothing is wrong with her and trying to do stuff she is not suppose to be doing. She is a what do you call them people that has to be in control all the time and doing stuff herself because no one can do it right but her? So that is why he left for a little while. They have their good and bad days together. But that is with any couple though. LOL!
Me and my dad had a good time this afternoon because we talked about all the old times and my dad was finally my dad for once. It was really great to see him in a good mood. Usually me and my dad don't get along because we always butt heads because we both are too much alike each other. So, it was good to be able to talk about memories and the best including the good and the bad. LOL! But he will always be hyper as ever. I don't know how he can be so hyper as he is. Boy he can get really loud too and after he left I had to take some tylenol for my headache from him getting so loud. I think he is getting something wrong with his hearing because he does talk too loud I think.
Well, I guess am going to make it short tonight. I think I will go and watch some TV because Extreme Home Makeover is on and than Cold Case is on and than my favorite show is Army Wives at 10pm eastern time. Boy do I love that. LOL! I can't wait and I am so upset because it is only 1 episode away from the season finale. I don't know what I will do without my Army Wives fix every Sunday. LOL! Well, take care everyone and have a great and blessed evening!! God bless you all and talk to you soon!! Many hugs and lots of love, KAT :OD
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Well, I guess it is time for me to get ready for bed. Hubby is on his way home from work and it is around 11pm here on the eastern coast. LOL! I know I am a party pooper. LOL! I have to go to bed early because if not I don't get the rest I need for hubby to help me to get out of the bed in the mornings because I don't have anyone else to help me once he is gone to work. He has to work the following schedules normally.
Fridays -- 11 am until 9:30 pm
Saturdays -- 12 pm until 10:30 pm
Sundays -- 10:30 am until 9 pm
Mondays -- 10:30 am until 9 pm
So you see if I don't get up with him because he always has to leave at least 30 minutes or more before he goes to work. So, if I don't get up with him when he leaves I would not be able to get up the rest of the day because of the way our bed is and how bad my legs are. Like I said I am totally homebound and I do have a wheelchair but I can't use it in my home because there is just NOT enough room at all for it. My home is not that big for this electric wheelchair at all.
I wish sometimes I could get a Home MakeOver so I could be able to go out and than be able to help out in the house and be able to move around in the house too. I can't get out of the home because I do need the wheelchair and right now because I don't have the room to use it I don't and I have to depend on a cane which is not working right now because of how bad my knee is and all. Oh well that will never happen so I guess the next best thing is to try to get better and lose alot of weight. LOL! Oh well maybe that will not happen either. Who knows anymore.
Well, take care and talk to you all again tomorrow or Monday at the latest okay. Be good and don't do anything I wouldn't do. LOL! Happy Sunday Everyone!!! God bless and many hugs, KAT :OD
Got a question for you all how come I have so much trouble with this blog doing what I want it to do? I either get double or triple spaces between paragraphs or I can't get my pictures to work. It is just one thing after another. Do you all have all these blog issues as well? Please help me on this. Maybe I am doing something wrong. Well, I guess I am going to go and sorry my picture is not animated it is suppose to be a picture of RAIN but that is not working. LOL! Take care and talk to you all soon. Much love, support, prayers and love, KAT :OD
Friday, October 24, 2008
I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now. But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow And as I go along life's way, I'm reaping better than I sowed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven't got a lot of riches, and sometimes the going's tough But I've got loving ones all around me, and that makes me rich enough. I thank GOD for his Blessings, and the Mercies HE's bestowed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went wrong, My faith wore somewhat thin. But all at once the dark clouds broke, and the sun peeped through again. So LORD, help me not to gripe, about the tough rows I have hoed. I'm drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If GOD gives me strength and courage, When the way grows steep and rough. I'll not ask for other blessings, I'm already Blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy, to help others bear their loads.. Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer, 'Cause my cup has overflowed. When I think of how many people in this world have it worse than I do, I realize just how BLESSED WE really are.
I will be back later on and update you more on me and what is going on with me today. I am not really feeling too well and getting a really slow start on everything. LOL! Thanks again for taking the time to read this. You all be good and have a very blessed Friday!! Many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Well, I have not heard anything as of yet from my Dad. I have tried to call him on his cellphone but with no luck in getting him. Hopefully he will call me soon as I am getting really worried here. They were suppose to be done at 1pm and here it is 2:51pm eastern time here. So, I am really worried now but than again it could have been set behind because of like her last surgery was running behind. So, maybe that is what is going on.
I just wanted to send out a little something to let you all know that I really do appreciate all the love, support, prayers and thoughtfulness that has been coming to me from you all at LiLA!!! It really means the world to me to know how much you all actually do care about me and my family!!
As soon as I hear anything else I will let you all know. Thanks again for everything. Take care and talk to you soon. God bless and much love, support, prayers, and hugs, KAT :OD
This is really sad and my hubby is really upset over this. I know he is going to try to go to the funeral and all. Just to give the family the support and prayers.
Just thought you all should know because you all have been here through all this and have been here listening. Boy can I have some ups and downs in my life. Today has been one of those days I guess.
Also, tomorrow 10/23/08 is my Uncle who lives with me his BIRTHDAY so I don't know if I will be online much okay so don't be scared if you don't see me wrote anything. LOL! But I will try to be on to let you all know about my Stepmother okay. Take care you all and please make sure to give them hugs to all the loved ones and from me. OK!
God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
If you all will please take a few minutes today before you go to bed. Please go and give your loved one or your child a hug and a kiss and tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you. Because for you never know what tomorrow may bring. As I want to send to you all my (((LOVE))) and my (((HUGS))) and my (((KISSES))) and my (((SUPPORT))) and all my (((PRAYERS))) go out to you and all your families. You really do know how much you all mean to me and you will always be in my heart forever!!!!
Also, if you will say a Prayer for my Stepmother Linda Miller tonight she goes in at 8am in the morning to the hospital and the surgery is at 10am and they should be done by 1pm and as soon as I know anything I will let you all know. I will do a post here okay. Please let this work out for her because she is really scared and they said that it could disfigure her face if it is not done right. So, please make sure that doesn't happen too.
Well, I have some mail to check and all before I go to bed tonight and hopefully you all will have a great and blessed evening!!! Know I am always here for everyone and take care of yourselves. Take care and talk to you soon. Have a great Thursday!!!
Many hugs and love, KAT :OD
So, today out of the blue I got a call from her husband. He was really upset and need someone to talk too because he don't really have many friends and his family is all gone except for his stepmother and he don't get to see her that much. So, we talked for over an hour and we cried and than we laughed about all the good times we had with Belinda.
Than I found out today too that my stepmother is going to have to go and have surgery tomorrow 10/23/08 on removal of 3 tumors in her throat / thyroid area. They don't know if they are cancerous or not but they are going in to remove them. She has just gotten done from having surgery on her foot where they have to repair it that had a hole in there and they had to pack it with bone marrow. Than they had to remove the tumor in it as well. Thank goodness it was not cancerous at all. She is still healing from it and had gotten an infection from that and just got off the antibiotics like less than 2 weeks ago and now is having to go into surgery on this other tomorrow. I really have been feeling bad about this surgery and don't know why.
So, as you can tell today has been really one of those days and it don't look like it is going to get any better because I am still in a lot of pain from where I popped my bad leg's knee out and have not been able to bare any weight on it for the past 3 days. I don't know what is going on with here lately. I am only 34 yrs old and feel like I am a 134 yrs old. LOL!
Well, I will let you go for now and talk to you soon again! Love you always and forever everyone!! Live today to its fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
God bless and many hugs, KAT