Hello and Good Afternoon Everyone!
Well, I am still here but don't know for how long. Everyone here at the home is really depressed/sad/anxious and don't know what to do. We have been calling the attorney's office to see if they will give us a payoff or purchase price for the home but they are still giving us a run around like normal. First when we called there to ask for a certain lady and they told us that there was no one there by that name. Than we told them who we were and we were told to ask for this person and they said "HOLD ON" with an attitude and very mean to us. Well, they transferred us over to guess who, you said it right the lady we were suppose to talk to in the first place which they said that didn't work there. So, than she tells us we have to wait 4 to 5 BUSINESS DAYS to find out anything and we have to call back than. But in the mean time she told us that there are fees and other stuff that is added in daily. So, that is not right when we want to get this done as soon as possible.
What gets me is why would you want to do this if you can get the money and get it out of your hands. Meaning the attorney and the loan company. I just don't understand why they are going through all this if they can get their money.
Well, I guess this is all for now but I maybe back later depending on what is going to happen next. OK! Thanks for everyone reading and I know that everyone is having hard times and I know that so many are losing their homes and jobs and I do Sympathize on all this because I know what I am going through and I hope and pray that NO ONE has to go through all we have been through.
Thanks again for everything I really do greatly appreciate everything and the advice and friendship I am getting from you all. God bless and many hugs and love always, KAT :OD
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Apologizing & Sorry!
Hello and Good Evening Everyone!!
I want to apologize to everyone who has read my post before this one about the house and to everyone who think I am asking for MONEY or handouts as I am NOT. I am just asking for advice at what I may be able to do to try to SAVE the home I am IN NOW because of all that would have to be done to get me out of the home and not counting all the stuff that would have to be moved and costs of living (renting) any other place. It would cost the same amount if not more of what we were paying in the beginning $1200 to rent something around here. Than you have to have First, Second and Last month deposits and than Security deposit as well for most places.
And than alot of people think that it is just so easy to get up and move around and leave my home when it is not that simple as some think. I have tried everything from not eating to help in losing weight to 1500 calories a day but being I am IMMOBILE I can't seem to lose the weight. Which is not the main issue with me not being able to move the legs are the main reason for me not being able to move around.
If you are interested here are some PICTURES of what I am going through with my legs and some pictures of myself being overweight and all.... Some of these are graphic so be warned check them out on your own....
http://s428.photobucket.com/albums/qq3/KShelman/
I just wish it was so SIMPLE as to get up everyday without being in so much pain from the swelling in my legs. It isn't that simple but I still manage to get up out of my bed and try to go on with the new day. Everyday is just a challenge to get out of the bed for me. Robert has to help me everytime I get out of the bed and it takes me at least 30 mins to get from the bedroom to the bathroom to the living room if I am going to sit out there for the day.
My day involves sitting so much that it isn't funny and it is not like I want too. I would love to be able to get up and go outside and breathe in fresh air but I have a oxygen tube in my nose 24 hours a day too. Plus, with the other illnesses it would take me over 3 hours to get out of the house if that, short amount of time and when I come back it would take us another 3 hours to get back in the house and than the next day I would not be able to walk to the bathroom at all and if I did I would be crying because of the pain. But than again so many people will say NO PAIN, NO GAIN but I have been in pain now for over 20 years and I have had to try to learn to live the best I can live with what I have.
I have to have help from my mom to even fix me food to eat each day. I have to depend on Robert to have to bath me in my bed and help me with dressings and changing of bandages for my legs so they will not get infected. If I get them infected I could lose my legs or even die because this has happened before where I almost lost my legs and I have almost died as well.
But I am sorry I have not been able to get back online until today to explain and I am sorry that everyone felt like I was asking for them for money and I am NOT. I am just asking for help. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I will try to get on as much as I can but I am trying to save my home so it maybe a few days at a time okay. God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
I want to apologize to everyone who has read my post before this one about the house and to everyone who think I am asking for MONEY or handouts as I am NOT. I am just asking for advice at what I may be able to do to try to SAVE the home I am IN NOW because of all that would have to be done to get me out of the home and not counting all the stuff that would have to be moved and costs of living (renting) any other place. It would cost the same amount if not more of what we were paying in the beginning $1200 to rent something around here. Than you have to have First, Second and Last month deposits and than Security deposit as well for most places.
And than alot of people think that it is just so easy to get up and move around and leave my home when it is not that simple as some think. I have tried everything from not eating to help in losing weight to 1500 calories a day but being I am IMMOBILE I can't seem to lose the weight. Which is not the main issue with me not being able to move the legs are the main reason for me not being able to move around.
If you are interested here are some PICTURES of what I am going through with my legs and some pictures of myself being overweight and all.... Some of these are graphic so be warned check them out on your own....
http://s428.photobucket.com/albums/qq3/KShelman/
I just wish it was so SIMPLE as to get up everyday without being in so much pain from the swelling in my legs. It isn't that simple but I still manage to get up out of my bed and try to go on with the new day. Everyday is just a challenge to get out of the bed for me. Robert has to help me everytime I get out of the bed and it takes me at least 30 mins to get from the bedroom to the bathroom to the living room if I am going to sit out there for the day.
My day involves sitting so much that it isn't funny and it is not like I want too. I would love to be able to get up and go outside and breathe in fresh air but I have a oxygen tube in my nose 24 hours a day too. Plus, with the other illnesses it would take me over 3 hours to get out of the house if that, short amount of time and when I come back it would take us another 3 hours to get back in the house and than the next day I would not be able to walk to the bathroom at all and if I did I would be crying because of the pain. But than again so many people will say NO PAIN, NO GAIN but I have been in pain now for over 20 years and I have had to try to learn to live the best I can live with what I have.
I have to have help from my mom to even fix me food to eat each day. I have to depend on Robert to have to bath me in my bed and help me with dressings and changing of bandages for my legs so they will not get infected. If I get them infected I could lose my legs or even die because this has happened before where I almost lost my legs and I have almost died as well.
But I am sorry I have not been able to get back online until today to explain and I am sorry that everyone felt like I was asking for them for money and I am NOT. I am just asking for help. Thanks for taking the time to read this and I will try to get on as much as I can but I am trying to save my home so it maybe a few days at a time okay. God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Sad, Depression and need advice!
Hello and Good Afternoon Everyone who reads this blog,
I am very sad, depressed and all as you know what may or may not know what has been going on in my life. So, here goes as I am going to explain it again and look forward to this being long, but I will try to explain it short but into detail the best I can okay. LOL! Thanks for taking the time to even read this.
First off you know that I am disabled and most of you know that I am homebound. Well, the Sheriff's office SOLD our home on 1/8/09 but the good news is that NO ONE BIDDED on it. So, they bought the home back for $133,200 and the good news is if we can get the money to buy it back from them we can STAY in the home. The bad news is if we can't get the money we only have 30 days to find a place to move too. We know that the loan company will want at least the $133,200 but I know they will be asking for more I am sure because the original loan was for $180,000 at $1933 a month for the mortgage payment. That is why we were NOT able to afford that. But it was only $1200 and we were able to afford that and it just kept going up and up. We couldn't afford it and tried everything to get it reduced and tried to get them to work with us and nothing helped.
What I was wondering if there is anyone out there that would be willing to help me out in raising the money or even if someone would be willing to help me out to try to get the money. I would LOVE to stay where I am at and I would be willing to repay anyone that helps us back if it took me the rest of my life if just someone would help us out. We have had so much BAD LUCK and NO ONE that wants to help us including the Mortgage company. We called them so many times and get transferred to so many people and so on and NEVER get any answers. Most of the time we don't even get to talk to an actual person it is a voicemail or recording.
So, all of you know that my mom's boyfriend (husband so to speak been together 18 yrs). has become very ill and lost his job a few years ago and has been looking for work and because he has gotten ill he has not been able to even do that. And with how bad the times are no one will hire him. So, he finally got on medical insurance and was able to finally go to the hospital and doctor's and they are finding out but this is just a start and just get it started in January 2009 but filed for it back in Nov. 2008 and it is just now getting started. So, he has finally got a primary care and he is finding out he has Lymphedema and Nodules in his left leg, severe sleep apnea, Narcolepsy, and we are sure he has other issues but these are just a start. He is also morbid obese as well and has become homebound as well.
My mom is disabled as well and she is having to help take care of me and her hubby (whom I will refer him as) and her brother. She has major issues as well. One like I was telling you she may have cancer but can't find out until March 2009 because of Medicaid will not pick it up because it has not been 6 months. So, she can't find out until than if it is cancer or not. She was diagnosed 2 years ago with NON CANCEROUS CYSTS in the same breast but these new signs are deeper and there are more of them in the same breast. So, we don't know if they are the same ones or if it is cancer. Which I am hoping it is not. She also has 6 herniated disks in her back, Diabetic, high blood pressure and they (diabetes and blood pressure) are uncontrollable even with medicines. She is also a maniac depressed, has anxiety attacks, and panic attacks. She can't be around many people and if she has a spell she has to go and be by herself because of it. She has mood swings as well and maybe Bipolar but has NEVER been diagnosed in having it.
Now we go onto me which most of you know me I have what is called Primary Lyphedema/Elephantiasis in both legs. It is swelling in both legs and you are in a lot of pain and I am prone to infections which I have almost died all ready 4 times from the infections (MRSA-Staph Resistant Infection). I am very morbid obese but try to limit my intake and watch what I eat, I drink water all the time and I try to not eat any bad foods but my problem is being immobile and lack of money to get proper foods to eat that I can eat more than one time a day. Which 90% of the time I only eat 1 or 2 meals a day and that is it. Like today I have not eaten yet but 1 Scrapple & Egg & Cheese Sandwich on Wheat Toast and 2 bottles of Water all ready. I am depressed alot because I have been homebound now for over 6 years and I have not even been out to see a doctor in almost 3 yrs. No doctor will come to my home to see me at all because believe me you I have tried. I am on oxygen 24 hours a day as you can probably all ready be able to tell from my profile picture with my boyfriend (whom I consider my hubby been together 18 yrs as well). I have severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
Will continue saving because something is messing up with my computer sorry!!!
I am very sad, depressed and all as you know what may or may not know what has been going on in my life. So, here goes as I am going to explain it again and look forward to this being long, but I will try to explain it short but into detail the best I can okay. LOL! Thanks for taking the time to even read this.
First off you know that I am disabled and most of you know that I am homebound. Well, the Sheriff's office SOLD our home on 1/8/09 but the good news is that NO ONE BIDDED on it. So, they bought the home back for $133,200 and the good news is if we can get the money to buy it back from them we can STAY in the home. The bad news is if we can't get the money we only have 30 days to find a place to move too. We know that the loan company will want at least the $133,200 but I know they will be asking for more I am sure because the original loan was for $180,000 at $1933 a month for the mortgage payment. That is why we were NOT able to afford that. But it was only $1200 and we were able to afford that and it just kept going up and up. We couldn't afford it and tried everything to get it reduced and tried to get them to work with us and nothing helped.
What I was wondering if there is anyone out there that would be willing to help me out in raising the money or even if someone would be willing to help me out to try to get the money. I would LOVE to stay where I am at and I would be willing to repay anyone that helps us back if it took me the rest of my life if just someone would help us out. We have had so much BAD LUCK and NO ONE that wants to help us including the Mortgage company. We called them so many times and get transferred to so many people and so on and NEVER get any answers. Most of the time we don't even get to talk to an actual person it is a voicemail or recording.
So, all of you know that my mom's boyfriend (husband so to speak been together 18 yrs). has become very ill and lost his job a few years ago and has been looking for work and because he has gotten ill he has not been able to even do that. And with how bad the times are no one will hire him. So, he finally got on medical insurance and was able to finally go to the hospital and doctor's and they are finding out but this is just a start and just get it started in January 2009 but filed for it back in Nov. 2008 and it is just now getting started. So, he has finally got a primary care and he is finding out he has Lymphedema and Nodules in his left leg, severe sleep apnea, Narcolepsy, and we are sure he has other issues but these are just a start. He is also morbid obese as well and has become homebound as well.
My mom is disabled as well and she is having to help take care of me and her hubby (whom I will refer him as) and her brother. She has major issues as well. One like I was telling you she may have cancer but can't find out until March 2009 because of Medicaid will not pick it up because it has not been 6 months. So, she can't find out until than if it is cancer or not. She was diagnosed 2 years ago with NON CANCEROUS CYSTS in the same breast but these new signs are deeper and there are more of them in the same breast. So, we don't know if they are the same ones or if it is cancer. Which I am hoping it is not. She also has 6 herniated disks in her back, Diabetic, high blood pressure and they (diabetes and blood pressure) are uncontrollable even with medicines. She is also a maniac depressed, has anxiety attacks, and panic attacks. She can't be around many people and if she has a spell she has to go and be by herself because of it. She has mood swings as well and maybe Bipolar but has NEVER been diagnosed in having it.
Now we go onto me which most of you know me I have what is called Primary Lyphedema/Elephantiasis in both legs. It is swelling in both legs and you are in a lot of pain and I am prone to infections which I have almost died all ready 4 times from the infections (MRSA-Staph Resistant Infection). I am very morbid obese but try to limit my intake and watch what I eat, I drink water all the time and I try to not eat any bad foods but my problem is being immobile and lack of money to get proper foods to eat that I can eat more than one time a day. Which 90% of the time I only eat 1 or 2 meals a day and that is it. Like today I have not eaten yet but 1 Scrapple & Egg & Cheese Sandwich on Wheat Toast and 2 bottles of Water all ready. I am depressed alot because I have been homebound now for over 6 years and I have not even been out to see a doctor in almost 3 yrs. No doctor will come to my home to see me at all because believe me you I have tried. I am on oxygen 24 hours a day as you can probably all ready be able to tell from my profile picture with my boyfriend (whom I consider my hubby been together 18 yrs as well). I have severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea.
Will continue saving because something is messing up with my computer sorry!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thinking about everyone & missing you all!
Well, I am would first like to say "SORRY" for not posting in almost a month now. I know I have been really bad and all and I know I should be posting everyday. But with all that has been going on in my life somedays I don't know if I am actually here at all. LOL!
Well, I hope everyone had a great CHRISTMAS and that everything worked out the best for you all. I am going to go ahead and wish you all a very "HAPPY" new year and hope all goes well with you for 2009. I hope it will be a lot better than 2008 was for us all.
Everyone has been having a lot of downs and maybe with the "NEW" president and the "NEW" year coming in everything will be for the "BEST" and everything will turn around but than again we don't know until it happens do we.
Would love to hear about some of your holiday stories. I will have to see if I can find the time to go through and read everyone's journals, but until I can get the house situation straight I don't have time for anything right now. I don't know what we are going to do. I am working with some ladies and hopefully something will come up and figure its way out for us all. Please keep us all in your prayers and I always do for you each and everyone of you in mine.
Well it is OFFICAL my grandmother's Divorce was finalized before Christmas and she has left yet again to go to Florida. It was finalized the Saturday before Christmas. I felt so sorry for my stepfather and his stepfather. He come over at Christmas time (Step-Grandfather) and he was so sad and he signed his Christmas card to my stepfather from your Ex-Dad. Which really upset my stepfather. So, things were really depressing during the holidays. Than the day after Christmas we had to say "GOODBYE" yet again to my Grandmom (well actually she is not my grandmom but I call her my grandmom, she is only my grandmom from my stepfather). She left to go to Florida like I said and she is going to be remarrying within the next month or so. I don't know when yet but I am sure I will find out and when I do I will let you all know.
We had seen her the day before Christmas Eve and that was really hard because I got really upset and than I had to see her again the day after Christmas and that was really hard and I just had to put a hard front up because if I get myself too upset I will make myself sick due to my illness and all I have been doing is crying and crying since I have had to see her. I only seen her to be here for my stepfather and if it was not for him I would have not seen her because I just get so upset over this whole thing because it is not right and it is disguising to me and I think she has done wrong. I love her like she is my very own grandmother by blood but we are not but it still hurts. I am a very emotional type of person and I get attached to people really easily which is really hard on me. LOL!
The last time I had wrote my stepmom's nephew was shot well he signed himself out of the hospital and all and we think that was because we think it was something to do with drugs and all but can't prove it. But he is doing better I guess because no one has called her to let my stepmom know how he is doing so we don't know.
My stepmom is doing good and she had a really great Christmas and that was thanks to us all here who chipped in on a cheap laptop computer because she has brain tumor and don't know how long she will be with us and that is the ONLY thing she had wanted and NO ONE would get it for her. So, we all chipped in on it and got it for her and boy was she so SURPRISED. That really made my day to be able to get that for her and surprise her for once. LOL!
Well, I guess that is all for now and I will try to come back later or tomorrow okay. I have a lot of emails and other stuff to do. Also, New Year's Eve is my mom and stepfather's Anniversary they will be together 18 yrs too. So, I don't know if I will be online until after the first of the new year okay. Hubby has to work tomorrow night and I don't know if he will be home in time to be here at midnight. We didn't spend last year together either but we have been together yet another year and that makes 18 yrs for us too as of Dec. 16th. SO, who know what this year will bring.
Well, I wish the best for you and your family as always and please take care and remember to live today at your fullest because you never know what tomorrow may bring. Also, always remember to tell that special someone in your life how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. Always tell them that you love them and that you mean it. Don't be mad at anyone because being mad is wrong and God will make things right and madness is not good. God bless you all and may you all have a blessed new year. Many hugs and lots of love always, KAT :OD
Well, I hope everyone had a great CHRISTMAS and that everything worked out the best for you all. I am going to go ahead and wish you all a very "HAPPY" new year and hope all goes well with you for 2009. I hope it will be a lot better than 2008 was for us all.
Everyone has been having a lot of downs and maybe with the "NEW" president and the "NEW" year coming in everything will be for the "BEST" and everything will turn around but than again we don't know until it happens do we.
Would love to hear about some of your holiday stories. I will have to see if I can find the time to go through and read everyone's journals, but until I can get the house situation straight I don't have time for anything right now. I don't know what we are going to do. I am working with some ladies and hopefully something will come up and figure its way out for us all. Please keep us all in your prayers and I always do for you each and everyone of you in mine.
Well it is OFFICAL my grandmother's Divorce was finalized before Christmas and she has left yet again to go to Florida. It was finalized the Saturday before Christmas. I felt so sorry for my stepfather and his stepfather. He come over at Christmas time (Step-Grandfather) and he was so sad and he signed his Christmas card to my stepfather from your Ex-Dad. Which really upset my stepfather. So, things were really depressing during the holidays. Than the day after Christmas we had to say "GOODBYE" yet again to my Grandmom (well actually she is not my grandmom but I call her my grandmom, she is only my grandmom from my stepfather). She left to go to Florida like I said and she is going to be remarrying within the next month or so. I don't know when yet but I am sure I will find out and when I do I will let you all know.
We had seen her the day before Christmas Eve and that was really hard because I got really upset and than I had to see her again the day after Christmas and that was really hard and I just had to put a hard front up because if I get myself too upset I will make myself sick due to my illness and all I have been doing is crying and crying since I have had to see her. I only seen her to be here for my stepfather and if it was not for him I would have not seen her because I just get so upset over this whole thing because it is not right and it is disguising to me and I think she has done wrong. I love her like she is my very own grandmother by blood but we are not but it still hurts. I am a very emotional type of person and I get attached to people really easily which is really hard on me. LOL!
The last time I had wrote my stepmom's nephew was shot well he signed himself out of the hospital and all and we think that was because we think it was something to do with drugs and all but can't prove it. But he is doing better I guess because no one has called her to let my stepmom know how he is doing so we don't know.
My stepmom is doing good and she had a really great Christmas and that was thanks to us all here who chipped in on a cheap laptop computer because she has brain tumor and don't know how long she will be with us and that is the ONLY thing she had wanted and NO ONE would get it for her. So, we all chipped in on it and got it for her and boy was she so SURPRISED. That really made my day to be able to get that for her and surprise her for once. LOL!
Well, I guess that is all for now and I will try to come back later or tomorrow okay. I have a lot of emails and other stuff to do. Also, New Year's Eve is my mom and stepfather's Anniversary they will be together 18 yrs too. So, I don't know if I will be online until after the first of the new year okay. Hubby has to work tomorrow night and I don't know if he will be home in time to be here at midnight. We didn't spend last year together either but we have been together yet another year and that makes 18 yrs for us too as of Dec. 16th. SO, who know what this year will bring.
Well, I wish the best for you and your family as always and please take care and remember to live today at your fullest because you never know what tomorrow may bring. Also, always remember to tell that special someone in your life how much they mean to you and how much you care about them. Always tell them that you love them and that you mean it. Don't be mad at anyone because being mad is wrong and God will make things right and madness is not good. God bless you all and may you all have a blessed new year. Many hugs and lots of love always, KAT :OD
Monday, December 8, 2008
Another Bad day here in Delaware!
Hello and Good Afternoon Everyone that are reading this blog!!!
Well, today is just another bad day in my neighborhood.
First off my stepmother's nephew was shot 2 times in the chest and had to be air lifted to shock trauma unit at a very well known hospital. They don't know what is going on yet and if he is going to make it or not. The police and FBI are still investigating this due to he was left to die after being shot. So, please say some prayers for him and their family. The nephew's father is also dying from cancer and he could die any day now and this is all he needs. So, the family is up to the hospital by the boys side to find out what is going on. As soon as I know anything I will report it here okay.
Than we got bad news about our home too. They maybe wanting to foreclose on it because my stepfather and mom both got behind due to him losing his job and my mom is disabled like myself. Most of you know that we all live together. I am on disability and my hubby works. So, we all don't get that much due to the fact that we are not married legally and they would calculate the incomes together. So, when my stepfather lost his job and now he is unable to work due to him falling and hurting himself and getting sick with the Narcolepsy and Sleep Apnea we have fallen behind on the mortgage.
We don't know what to do or how to stop what is going to happen. If anyone knows of anything please let us know. Me and Rob would love to buy the house from my stepfather and take over the payments that are lower in rate if we can. That would be so much better than having to try to come up with the high payment my stepfather has now. So, if you all can help out that would be greatly appreciated. As must of you know I am handicapped and more less homebound and have NO means of getting out if we have to move.
I am just so upset and all this happening here at the holidays. That is why I have not been online much because I am not trying to use my online service that much because I am going to have to try to either discontinue it or I am going to have to cut it down or something because I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like each day in my life it is getting worse and worse and I am getting deeper and deeper into a rut and I can't get out of it. I feel like I am such a USELESS person and can't do anything right anymore. I have a college degree and not able to get or be able to work because of being on oxygen 24 hours a day and in a wheelchair and in so much pain. But I know that there are so many more people out there that are worse off than I am and that is what gets me up everyday.
I am really lose for words and don't know what to say anymore because of this depression that is setting in on me and how I need to get out of this and what I can do to make everything better for me and my family and my health. I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help us all out if you can or know how. Thanks a million and god bless everyone!!! Love you all!! Hugs, KAT :*o(
Well, today is just another bad day in my neighborhood.
First off my stepmother's nephew was shot 2 times in the chest and had to be air lifted to shock trauma unit at a very well known hospital. They don't know what is going on yet and if he is going to make it or not. The police and FBI are still investigating this due to he was left to die after being shot. So, please say some prayers for him and their family. The nephew's father is also dying from cancer and he could die any day now and this is all he needs. So, the family is up to the hospital by the boys side to find out what is going on. As soon as I know anything I will report it here okay.
Than we got bad news about our home too. They maybe wanting to foreclose on it because my stepfather and mom both got behind due to him losing his job and my mom is disabled like myself. Most of you know that we all live together. I am on disability and my hubby works. So, we all don't get that much due to the fact that we are not married legally and they would calculate the incomes together. So, when my stepfather lost his job and now he is unable to work due to him falling and hurting himself and getting sick with the Narcolepsy and Sleep Apnea we have fallen behind on the mortgage.
We don't know what to do or how to stop what is going to happen. If anyone knows of anything please let us know. Me and Rob would love to buy the house from my stepfather and take over the payments that are lower in rate if we can. That would be so much better than having to try to come up with the high payment my stepfather has now. So, if you all can help out that would be greatly appreciated. As must of you know I am handicapped and more less homebound and have NO means of getting out if we have to move.
I am just so upset and all this happening here at the holidays. That is why I have not been online much because I am not trying to use my online service that much because I am going to have to try to either discontinue it or I am going to have to cut it down or something because I don't know what to do anymore. I just feel like each day in my life it is getting worse and worse and I am getting deeper and deeper into a rut and I can't get out of it. I feel like I am such a USELESS person and can't do anything right anymore. I have a college degree and not able to get or be able to work because of being on oxygen 24 hours a day and in a wheelchair and in so much pain. But I know that there are so many more people out there that are worse off than I am and that is what gets me up everyday.
I am really lose for words and don't know what to say anymore because of this depression that is setting in on me and how I need to get out of this and what I can do to make everything better for me and my family and my health. I just don't know what to do anymore. Please help us all out if you can or know how. Thanks a million and god bless everyone!!! Love you all!! Hugs, KAT :*o(
Friday, December 5, 2008
Sorry for not writing in a while
Sorry Everyone for not writing or being online in a while. I just have had so much going on in my life right now. Everything and anything you can think about is going on.
First my stepfather was rushed to the hospital on 11/18 and than me and rob have been so sick with bronchitis and pneumonia. My mom got a big scare from the doctor's. She has to go and have her breast fully diagnosed at the hospital but because she is on Medicaid she has to wait for the six month's to be up before they can do it again. She may have breast cancer but they can't rule it out until they do these other tests. Which really makes me so upset and mad. She can't have this done until March 2009 that will be the six months.
What else has been going on .. Oh well lets see my doggie has been sick and we had to take her to the vet. That was bad too and it cost us an arm and leg. Oh there just has been so much. Maybe I will be able to go on and on.
Oh yeah my grandmom finally got the divorce from my grandfather after 25 yrs together. She is still up here in Delaware. She come back around Oct. 4, 2008 and has been here since than but that was just to get the divorce finalized. She is leaving again on or right after Christmas if the divorce degree comes in or not. She is engaged to be remarried. Long story I know and it is not right I know but this is what she wants and no one is going to stop her. She is not my real grandmom but she is my stepfather's mom. I have always thought about her as my grandmom though.
Well, what else has been going on that I can write about? Well, if I think about it I will redo this okay. Take care and talk to you all soon. Thanks for everyone that has been really worried about me and I am totally sorry about all this. Take care and love you all. God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
First my stepfather was rushed to the hospital on 11/18 and than me and rob have been so sick with bronchitis and pneumonia. My mom got a big scare from the doctor's. She has to go and have her breast fully diagnosed at the hospital but because she is on Medicaid she has to wait for the six month's to be up before they can do it again. She may have breast cancer but they can't rule it out until they do these other tests. Which really makes me so upset and mad. She can't have this done until March 2009 that will be the six months.
What else has been going on .. Oh well lets see my doggie has been sick and we had to take her to the vet. That was bad too and it cost us an arm and leg. Oh there just has been so much. Maybe I will be able to go on and on.
Oh yeah my grandmom finally got the divorce from my grandfather after 25 yrs together. She is still up here in Delaware. She come back around Oct. 4, 2008 and has been here since than but that was just to get the divorce finalized. She is leaving again on or right after Christmas if the divorce degree comes in or not. She is engaged to be remarried. Long story I know and it is not right I know but this is what she wants and no one is going to stop her. She is not my real grandmom but she is my stepfather's mom. I have always thought about her as my grandmom though.
Well, what else has been going on that I can write about? Well, if I think about it I will redo this okay. Take care and talk to you all soon. Thanks for everyone that has been really worried about me and I am totally sorry about all this. Take care and love you all. God bless and many hugs and love, KAT :OD
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sad & Depressed Monday Evening!
Tag designed by Me and if you want it tagged just email me or click here... You're Always On My Mind Tag Well, here it is late Monday Evening and I am just getting on the computer. Boy where did the day go??? I have not been feeling well again today don't know what is going on with me. I was going to get on the computer earlier today but instead I ended up falling asleep on the sofa watching a movie on Lifetime TV. I guess that movie was too good that it actually put me to sleep unless it was because I took some Tylenol and all for the pain. We had a cold front come in today and it got cold and when it gets cold I start to hurt really bad.
Did you all do anything good for the first day of the week? I was watching the News tonight and it is really sad about Jennifer Hudson's 7 yr old Nephew Julian. What gets into people's heads to make them go on a killing spree?? Like a little 7 yr old kid can do anything to an ADULT it just makes me so mad and it really upsets me so much that this can happen to a young person like this. Is anyone keeping up with this story? I was wondering why Jennifer's mom and brother were shot? What was it over? I heard it was to do with domestic abuse or something. Is this true? I know Jennifer Hudson has to be really upset over this especially when her career is just getting to take off the ground. Do you all know if she was very close to her mom and brother? I know so many questions. LOL!
Sometimes I don't know what makes someone want to kill. How do they actually shoot or stab someone. You really have to be down and out to really do this to another living thing. I hate to even kill a fly or a bug. It is just not right and I don't understand what brings a person to this. Just like so many people have said to me because of me being ill and all. They don't know how they would live with what I have for as long as I have done it because they would have killed themselves by now. I always answer to them with this...
"Why kill yourself? What is that going to solve? You will leave your loved ones and than you will not be able to go to heaven by doing this. Do you think by killing yourself that it is going to make things right or better? No because it is not."
It really upsets me that people would think because of the pain I am in that they would need to kill themselves because they could not put up with the pain and infections and stuff I have been through. But why do that because there are so many other people in this world that are more WORSE than I am and do you see them killing themselves? NO I answer!! So, why would you want to do it. They must have really low self esteem or low pain tolerance or something. It doesn't make any sense to me. Does it to you all?
Again I am sorry for not getting online sooner and doing this but I just have not had the strength to do anything lately. Maybe because I have been depressed too. There are so many things going on in my life right now. Money is the biggest thing of all evil here. There is not enough coming in and too much going out. With the economy the way it is now days I just don't know how anyone is making it. It is not right and maybe sometime soon the world and all of us can come together and get this straightened out. I am praying and hoping for that.
Well, I guess I will go for now and all hubby is just getting home and he is hungry. LOL! Well, you all have a great and blessed day and I will talk to you again tomorrow I am hoping. Hubby is home tomorrow but he has to work on his side job for Tomorrow, Wednesday and Thursday. I don't know if I will get any alone time with him again this week. Very sad over that because we have not had alone time together except for when we go to bed and that is no longer than an hour a day in over a month or better. Really getting lonely here.
Well, you all be good and don't get into any trouble now. Be nice and make sure you always tell your loved ones that you really love with all your heart and soul and give them all big hugs and kisses from you and from me. God bless you always and forever!! With all my love, support, prayers and hugs to your family from mine, KAT :OD
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Today is a sad day for me & my family!
Tag made by Roxy aka Shelly (Thanks for this beautiful tag!)Today is a sad day because 1 yr today is the day that my best friend passed on to Heaven to be with God. She was only 37 yrs old when she passed away. Her name was Belinda Fulmer and we had been friends online for over 10 yrs and we lived miles away from each other. Yet it seemed like sisters and that we had known each other for eternity. But yet we had never seen each other in our whole time we known each other we still stay very close and talked almost everyday until she got really bad off.
So, today out of the blue I got a call from her husband. He was really upset and need someone to talk too because he don't really have many friends and his family is all gone except for his stepmother and he don't get to see her that much. So, we talked for over an hour and we cried and than we laughed about all the good times we had with Belinda.
Than I found out today too that my stepmother is going to have to go and have surgery tomorrow 10/23/08 on removal of 3 tumors in her throat / thyroid area. They don't know if they are cancerous or not but they are going in to remove them. She has just gotten done from having surgery on her foot where they have to repair it that had a hole in there and they had to pack it with bone marrow. Than they had to remove the tumor in it as well. Thank goodness it was not cancerous at all. She is still healing from it and had gotten an infection from that and just got off the antibiotics like less than 2 weeks ago and now is having to go into surgery on this other tomorrow. I really have been feeling bad about this surgery and don't know why.
So, as you can tell today has been really one of those days and it don't look like it is going to get any better because I am still in a lot of pain from where I popped my bad leg's knee out and have not been able to bare any weight on it for the past 3 days. I don't know what is going on with here lately. I am only 34 yrs old and feel like I am a 134 yrs old. LOL!
Well, I will let you go for now and talk to you soon again! Love you always and forever everyone!! Live today to its fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
God bless and many hugs, KAT
So, today out of the blue I got a call from her husband. He was really upset and need someone to talk too because he don't really have many friends and his family is all gone except for his stepmother and he don't get to see her that much. So, we talked for over an hour and we cried and than we laughed about all the good times we had with Belinda.
Than I found out today too that my stepmother is going to have to go and have surgery tomorrow 10/23/08 on removal of 3 tumors in her throat / thyroid area. They don't know if they are cancerous or not but they are going in to remove them. She has just gotten done from having surgery on her foot where they have to repair it that had a hole in there and they had to pack it with bone marrow. Than they had to remove the tumor in it as well. Thank goodness it was not cancerous at all. She is still healing from it and had gotten an infection from that and just got off the antibiotics like less than 2 weeks ago and now is having to go into surgery on this other tomorrow. I really have been feeling bad about this surgery and don't know why.
So, as you can tell today has been really one of those days and it don't look like it is going to get any better because I am still in a lot of pain from where I popped my bad leg's knee out and have not been able to bare any weight on it for the past 3 days. I don't know what is going on with here lately. I am only 34 yrs old and feel like I am a 134 yrs old. LOL!
Well, I will let you go for now and talk to you soon again! Love you always and forever everyone!! Live today to its fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
God bless and many hugs, KAT
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