Can't believe it and very Upset over it

I can't believe that we are having to pack everything up. My mom and boyfriend (hubby) are having to pack everything up because I am very depressed and emotional and at this point really don't care what happens because of having to move.

I just can't believe we lost the home. It is not all our fault and it is alot on the mortgage company too. If they would have just communicated to us about everything we would be able to stay here. It is not right and there are so many mixed emotions going through my mind and head right now.

I am sorry to keep talking about it all the time but I just don't have anyone to talk to and explain what is going on with me. It is hurting me so badly. Last night me and Rob (Hubby) got into a fight because I asked him when he got done eating if he could go and make the bed. I told him I was not feeling well and was in a lot of pain and started to cry and said I was very depressed as well. Than he yelled back at me and said "Well you don't have to take everything out on me" and I was like what the heck did I do? I was so dumb founded. Like what did I do or what did I say by just asking him if he could go and make the bed up. See he has to help me to the room being I am handicapped and can't walk all that well.

So, he did do it but than when we got into the room I asked him what that was all about and he said he is sorry that he took me wrong. I was like I am not the one you need to be taking this out on because I am here for you. So, he did apologize and give me a hug and kiss and all but still it is the point of it. I didn't say anything wrong and he has been doing this alot lately.

I know everyone is hurting and having so many different emotions and all. I understand that. It is really hard on me and my mom the most because we both are emotional people and cry over everything.

The walls are starting to look bare and I can't believe it. What am I going to do??? I am just so upset and I don't want to go and I just want to stay. What can I do to still stay? Does anyone have any answers for me????

Well, they have a POD coming tomorrow if we don't get a foot of snow. No but we are suppose to get at least 4 inches of snow tomorrow and I don't know if they will deliver the POD than or not. They are suppose to be here sometime between 3pm and 5pm tomorrow. So, I don't know. We are getting one of them 16 foot PODS.

That is another reason why I am so upset because I had to call and set that up today. Most of the stuff I have to do because my stepfather is really sick and can't stay awake anymore and my mom is trying all she can do to pack up everything and try to do what she can do without her back giving out on her. She has a very bad back which has over 6 herniated discs. I don't know what I would do without her she is my EVERYTHING. She is the one that helps us out with cooking and most the cleaning when my hubby (ROB) is not here.

Well, I know this is enough about what is going on in my life but I just had to talk to you all because I just don't have any friends to call or contact and vent a little on and don't have any friends here locally at all.

Well, I guess I better go for now and get ready for bed. I am hurting really bad I was going to the bathroom this evening and my knee gave out and popped out on me and now I can't walk even more. So, I am going to have to take some Tylenol (cheap kind from Walmart) and get some sleep if I can. Which I know I will not because of the pain and stress level I am under this evening.

Thank you all for listening and reading if I can I will get on tomorrow if I can but I don't know. I will keep you all posted.

We still have not heard anymore on if my step-grandfather is going to be able to help us out with this place outside of town. We are waiting to see if he can get the approval so keep your fingers crossed for that or keep them crossed for good news on staying here where we are at now.

Please if anyone has any advice I am all ears and eyes and would love to hear some feedback from you all. Thanks again for everything and look forward to talking with you all again soon. Take care and many hugs, lots of love and many prayers, KAT :OD

Today has been a very weird day all the way around!

If you want this tag it was designed by me just click HERE and it will send me an email and just tell me what you want on it and I will send it back to you ASAP. Thank you so much!!!

Well, today has been a very weird day today. There has been so much SADNESS going on in the world and in my life. I can't believe how much has been going on in this life. What is the world coming too I ask everyday.

I was watching Oprah today and seen the most saddest thing I have ever seen. It was called 99 Balloons. You can watch it here... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th6Njr-qkq0 and it is so sad and you will need a lot of tissues for watching this 6 minute video.

Today on Oprah was about young kids who inspire. It was so sad and even Oprah and Celine were in tears over this video too. It is so amazing how much little children go through and they suffer so much before they are even an adult. This just makes my life feel so not important and makes me feel like a fool because they go through so much and yet they can't say how much pain they have to go through. It makes my pain feel so little.

I still can't believe what happen to Jennifer Hudson's Nephew Julian King. That is totally saddens me so much and just to think about so many other little children who get killed over evil adults that they feel they need to take a life. It is horrible and I just can't understand why so many have to die so young. If it is not one it is 100 and this will keep going on and on in our lives because we can't do anything to prevent it from happening.

Well, I guess this is all for me now I will be back in a few to update on my Stepmom she has something that come up last night and had to go to the doctor today. Well, take care and talk to you soon. God bless and many hugs, support, prayers and lots of love, KAT :OD

Today is a sad day for me & my family!

Tag made by Roxy aka Shelly (Thanks for this beautiful tag!)

Today is a sad day because 1 yr today is the day that my best friend passed on to Heaven to be with God. She was only 37 yrs old when she passed away. Her name was Belinda Fulmer and we had been friends online for over 10 yrs and we lived miles away from each other. Yet it seemed like sisters and that we had known each other for eternity. But yet we had never seen each other in our whole time we known each other we still stay very close and talked almost everyday until she got really bad off.

So, today out of the blue I got a call from her husband. He was really upset and need someone to talk too because he don't really have many friends and his family is all gone except for his stepmother and he don't get to see her that much. So, we talked for over an hour and we cried and than we laughed about all the good times we had with Belinda.

Than I found out today too that my stepmother is going to have to go and have surgery tomorrow 10/23/08 on removal of 3 tumors in her throat / thyroid area. They don't know if they are cancerous or not but they are going in to remove them. She has just gotten done from having surgery on her foot where they have to repair it that had a hole in there and they had to pack it with bone marrow. Than they had to remove the tumor in it as well. Thank goodness it was not cancerous at all. She is still healing from it and had gotten an infection from that and just got off the antibiotics like less than 2 weeks ago and now is having to go into surgery on this other tomorrow. I really have been feeling bad about this surgery and don't know why.

So, as you can tell today has been really one of those days and it don't look like it is going to get any better because I am still in a lot of pain from where I popped my bad leg's knee out and have not been able to bare any weight on it for the past 3 days. I don't know what is going on with here lately. I am only 34 yrs old and feel like I am a 134 yrs old. LOL!

Well, I will let you go for now and talk to you soon again! Love you always and forever everyone!! Live today to its fullest because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
God bless and many hugs, KAT